Thursday, October 29, 2009

Guest Blogger - Dina Kucera



Well the fat lady is singing , and it's over. This Yankee lost the South by 31 votes.
Frankly I'm a little relieved. It was alot of work campaigning and asking for votes.
I thank all of you for the thousands of votes I got over the past few weeks. And I really thank you for putting up with the horrible login and voting system at Apartment Therapy.
A special shout out to Gina from Willow Decor for putting up a post about me yesterday.
And thanks to my Alberto for working so hard for me on this project.

I'm sure you need a little break from me, so today I am presenting guest blogger Dina Kucera. She's a wife, a mom, a stand up comedienne, a writer and occasional blogger HERE.

Losing Is A Feeling, Not An Event
By Dina Kucera


I see a little boy, six or seven, wearing a baseball uniform. I ask if he played a game. He said yes. I asked if he won. He said, "We don't have winners or losers." I thought, oh yes you do sweetie. Your parents are lying to you, sugar.
I look up at his father and he says, "They just have fun playing the game without all the completion." What?


When I was a kid, we had winners and we had losers. Period. Sometimes you won. Sometimes you lost. The key is finding the thing that you win at the most. Wondering if you would win or loose WAS the fun of the game.
Mentally handling 'winning' was easy. You smile and coast through your sweet life until the next challenge. If you were deemed a 'loser', your brain went into automatic 'wait until we meet again, I will annihilate you if it kills me'. It's called competition and it is something we face every single day of our lives. You may be six or you may be sixty, we all crave that feeling of winning.
When I was in the ninth grade I was a gymnast. There was another girl on the team named Andrea. We were in constant competition to beat one another. I could not miss one day of school because Andrea might learn a great stunt while I was out. One day Andrea said to me, "Your socks are inside out." This provoked me into channeling Nadia Cominich and becoming the greatest gymnast that cafeteria has ever seen. Shortly after that, still in ninth grade, I was pregnant with my first child and quit school which a another story. But who really won? Andrea? I think she went on to college and got a law degree. Big deal Andrea. Your dress is inside out.
My point is that it's wrong to try and shield the kids from any sad emotion.
They don't have winners or losers?
You can not function in the world without knowing how to respond to losing. It's the same as hearing the word 'no'. It's everyday of our life, it's a part of our life, it is life.
A sports guy said, and I quote, "Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser."


You know who had this attitude? Nadia Cominich. All the greats! Michael Phelps! Robert Downey Jr.! Bea Arthur! They all wanted to win! And they did! Michael Phelps didn't say, "I just have fun flipping around in the water in my speedo." Are you kidding? He said, "I will win."


So let's get out there! Get that parking spot! (In a courteous way).
Take your place in the grocery store line! (If it is truly your turn).
Whiten your teeth and smile at everyone!
Never allow your husband to win an argument!
Wake him up and remind him you won the argument!
Let's get out there and kick some ass!


Because guess what! There are winners! And there are losers!
And unless I have to paint a picture or make something out of clay or balance a checkbook, I am a winner! I won! How do you like that Andrea!

16 comments:

  1. That McDonald's photo is hilarious!
    I agree about winning an argument but am actually trying to back off with that cause I have such an unfair advantage, being so rational and all.
    Anyway I wanted to let you know I found out about your Apartment Therapy contest too late but I ADORE your home, what a beautiful display of collections and colors! I'm so sorry I didn't know of I would have blogged about it for you and tried to help!! You won in my eyes!

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  2. What a great and very true post. Thanks so much for the laugh Dina. So sorry you did not win Val here's hoping the Yanks pull it out for the World Series though.

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  3. Well, your blog is a winner!
    Love those images!! What a parking job!!
    Oh yes & the MP Pic .....well, ok then!
    Leslie

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  4. Amber from Brisbane, AustraliaOctober 29, 2009 at 4:27 PM

    Bring back the vamp.

    This was really disappointing. I started off loving the argument that shielding kids from win/lose scenarios is wrong. It's emotion-focused coping parenting, and its potential for lifelong problems is well known. But you totally lost me when you celebrated the quote by the sports jock and the deviation into recommendations for aggressive behaviour.

    Assertiveness and aggression are different. Elite athletes are all too often socially santioned obsessives. Corporate winners come scarily close to meeting criteria for sociopathic disoders. Striving to win, but accepting others are better on the day is success. It spurs you on to try harder next time, but graciously. "Never let your husband win an argument"????, well I think you just lost yours with that inane idea.

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  5. Sorry you didn't win, but I sense you're not exactly devastated.
    :)
    You're one of lifes' winners anyway V x

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  6. via e-mail:

    Valorie,

    So sorry I was so late to post – I actually thought I had more time. I am so sorry!!! I really think they made a big mistake!! The other room had half the interest, detail and thought than your room – but people love blue. It’s really true – so many blue lovers –though I am not one!!
    Well remember coming in second is actually better!! Did you know that Miss America runner ups are more successful over their careers when measured against the actual Miss Americas?!! Another reason to can the pageant. You did an amazing job!!!
    You are the best!!
    Love ya!!
    Gina

    Ps- thanks for the shout out on your blog – not necessary but very thoughtful!

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  7. Dear Amber from Australia,
    I don't actually wake my husband to argue. That was a joke. Don't do that. I do know of the parents you are speaking. The one's that sit on the bleachers and scream like crazy people at their children to win. I don't do that. Don't do that. The blog was written for laughs not for really for too much thought as nothing I do involves too much thinking. Then in your post there were other things said and I can tell that you are entirely out of my league in the intelligent use of words department. I just wrote a book. If you read the book and then went through it and inserted better words, the two of us could make millions. Please, please read my other blogs! Can I come and stay with you doun under? Seriously, please read my other blogs. Some did require the still functioning part of my brain.

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  8. Hi ! I am so sorry because I just read your comment!! I would have totally voted for you!!! Love your posts and your blog!

    Best,

    Rosanna

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  9. Dear Amber from Brisbane,

    I heard that the water in the toilets spins the opposite way down under, but who knows how much of that is just a cultural misunderstanding.

    The operative word for Dina is comedienne as in she is a very funny and successful stand up comedian, and therefore requiring a healthy sense of humor to get her drift.

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  10. I still hand you the trophy ( for what's that worth ! ) I did vote but not sure if that registration thing worked or not. So love your style and admire the tremendous effort

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  11. I'm sorry I missed the voting - I didn't get your comment until this morning (the 29th). You did such a fabulous job!!!

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  12. Vamp...Your place is smashing...YOU are amazing. Your fans are relentless. Your Alberto is in a WHOLE other league.

    You won....oh, you won.

    You know that. Cry a minute. Then remember that.

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  13. Well bummer. Your red office is my favorite room, and every time you post a new view of it on your blog, I always save it onto my computer. That space is rich and full of soul and is soooo NOT off the rack.

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  14. Great post with lots of words of wisdom :-) It's not fun to lose, but it's part of life. Kids do need to learn about winning and losing, because both are going to happen many times through childhood and adulthood.

    Valorie, sorry you did't make it to the next round of the contest. Your colourful room is beautiful and inspiring :-)

    Kelly @ DesignTies

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  15. haha wow!


    http://californianoir.blogspot.com/

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  16. Hello there!
    I spent a great time last month in Buenos Aires. I rented an apartment in Buenos Aires, near the down town. I suggest that service called ForRent Argentina: Apartment in Buenos Aires . They've good prices and quality, with apartments in Palermo and Recoleta.
    Bye,
    Frank

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